Dearest family,

I?ve been reading through I Corinthians; I finished today. I thought I?d share with you something I picked up in I Corinthians 16:15-18. Take a second and read that, if you would.

Apparently Stephanas and his whole household were the first converts to the Way of Jesus in Achaia. Paul says they had “devoted themselves for ministry to the saints.” This describes the proper attitude of a believing family.

Let?s make clear what we?re not talking about. It?s not that dad devotes himself and mom resents the time he spends with other people, or vice-versa. It?s not that the children suffer because mom and dad are living for something bigger than their kids. Nor is it that the prim and proper “church-going family” makes appropriate adjustments to their cute little life (or cataclysmically wrecked life) so they could fit the church in.

Rather, what we have here is a magnificent thing. Stephanas, his wife and kids, and whoever else lived under his roof were in it together. They each and all “devoted themselves for ministry to the saints.” His family was a unit, bound together in a mutual devotion to the care of other people, not self-enclosed and infatuated with their own happy little home. They had something outside themselves to live for together, and thus they had room to live.

It?s a fascinating word, “devoted.” It has layers. On the surface it means, “thrown into whole-hog, absolutely committed.” This kind of devotion, in the beginning at least, is a choice, an act of will. Underneath is the concept of addiction. They couldn?t get enough of taking care of other saints. Instead of waking up aching for attention or acceptance or whatever, the house of Stephanas seems to have lived with persistent jonesings (I believe the Southern word is “hankerings”) for opportunities to minister to the saints. Thus, the King James reads, “they have addicted themselves to the ministry of the saints.”

And what they devoted is just as significant. When we devote our time or our money or our attention, but do not devote our very selves, we set ourselves up for bitterness and resentment. I can give and give, but if I have not given my heart, my heart will grow increasingly unhappy with what I am giving away. Soon, I?ll begin to blame others for their unrealistic claims on my time and attention, when the problem isn?t inadequate time; the problem is that I simply haven?t sold out to the notion yet. I have not yet devoted my self.

Paul goes on to tell us that people such as this are examples. Really, they are the only safe examples. And I am sad that such examples are so few and far between. Paul says we are to voluntarily subject ourselves to their guidance, and to the guidance of anyone who labors (i.e. sweats) for the Work. We are to mark them and emulate them. In this way, by devoting ourselves and our families “for ministry to the saints” and by emulating those who already do so, we become ourselves the kind of people (and the kind of families) that are safe examples. We become whole.

Perhaps you can see the implications such an approach to life has for damaged, wounded souls. The walking wounded are healed not by attention to their wounds but by attention to their walking. We kick free of our pain and funk no other way. Total devotion to God, expressed in an addictive care for the saints, is the way to wholeness. There is no other road.

So let me invite you to examine the objects of your devotion, of your addiction. Let?s stop devoting ourselves to feeling good or to having “good” kids. Let?s stop accumulating stuff. Let?s let go of our guilt and fear, our addictions and disorders. Let?s stop devoting ourselves to the echoes of our past, or to stopping our ears against those echoes. Let?s devote ourselves to ministry to the saints, not instead of our families but as families.

Our kids need to live for something bigger than themselves as much as we do. Let?s give our kids the best. Let?s give them significance. Let?s give our families, and ourselves, what we actually need ? a life together devoted to the care of the saints. This lifestyle (and only this lifestyle) can heal broken people and build healthy ones.

So choose. Choose and live.

Devoted to your well being,

Virgil